We do everything we can to avoid being uncomfortable – air conditioning, elevators, wireless remote controls. Beyond physical discomforts, we also do what we can to avoid emotional and mental pain, from simple avoidance to a mask of a happy face to alcohol addiction. While a life free of discomfort might seem to work for a while, this sanitized version of life prevent us from living as we truly are – confused, emotional, vulnerable, imperfect, human. In due time, the demands of maintaining a painless existence takes its toll and cracks appear in our armor. All the discomfort that was stuffed into our crevices come exploding out, finally released. Instead, if we can embrace being uncomfortable, honor our true messy selves with our own special craziness, and be present in the world, then perhaps we can live with greater freedom and comfort as our own uncomfortable selves.
Show Up
Glennon Doyle Melton speaks about her own painful past in putting on her Superman capes to hide her true self – a sensitive, tender spirit. Instead of “showing up in the bright, messy world,” she used alcohol and food as a way to pretend to be something she thought she was supposed to do. Once she decided to embrace her own pain, she embraced her own sensitive self and made her ordinary extraordinary.
“All discomfort comes from suppressing your true identity.”
~ Bryant McGill
The Flow of Discomfort
Embrace the crazy
- Be ordinary
It seems like everyone is doing super-things: founding start-ups, juggling twins and a business, jet-setting around the world looking perfect. Naturally, we feel like we have to be superhuman, rising above the fray and problems of the ‘normal’ human condition. But if we really peel back the layers of the onion, we will see that even the seemingly superpeople have ‘normal’ issues. After all, if you prick them, will they not bleed…. In short, don’t try and be superhuman. Just be normal. Be ordinary. That alone is a superhuman feat.
- Be still
A consequence of a technology-rich world is that we can run from one thing to another, never pausing, never reflecting, never feeling. We can avoid what’s happening inside our heads by simply putting on earbuds to let an outsider push aside our own thoughts with theirs. By quieting ourselves and being still, we can allow our thoughts and feelings to emerge. Regardless if they make us ecstatic or queasy, giving our emotions their due help us to know our true selves better, rather than pretending they don’t exist and giving our power away to TV characters and Youtube stars.
- Be present
It’s easier to hide from ourselves – especially when we suspect that ourselves can be discomforting. We often hide by avoiding, pretending, or substituting. However, by showing up to life, we are forced to face our true selves – good and bad – and in time, will give us the strength to live more fully and genuinely. Engage fully, each and every time – even when it seems easier to stick our heads in the sand.
- Be vulnerable
We don’t like to seem needy. We don’t like to ask for help. We don’t like others to know we have no clue what we’re doing. After all, everyone else seems to have it all together, so why would we admit to being weak? In fact, when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, to show our lesser strengths, and to seek support from others, we no longer have to pretend to be or act as we believe others expect us to. We simply are who are – with our quirks and our weaknesses. That is power and a strength that others will recognize.
- Be uncomfortable
Embrace being uncomfortable. Maybe it’s being cold. Maybe it’s feeling sad or rejected. These aren’t great feelings, but rather than trying to run away from them or masking the pain, if we reach out and hug the painful thought or emotion, we can make discomfort our ally. Sitting with discomfort allow us to better understand who we are, what we value, and who we want to become. It can get us to a place of comfort far quicker and smoother than if we pretended that everything was perfect all the time.