“I’m so stressed.”
Do you feel like you say this ten times a day? Or maybe you hear others say it a billion times a day? We often think of stress as being the Worst Thing for our bodies, our minds, our happiness. We know what stress feels like most of the time – blood pumping, face reddening, heart racing. It seems like a sure-fire formula to a heart attack and early death. But is heightened anxiety and nervousness always bad for us? Consider Olympic athletes: right before a meet or a trial, you can see the nerves and stress all over their faces. And then it’s their turn. Boom, they focus and get the job done. If Olympic athletes can use their stress to compete on a ridiculously high level, it is conceivable that we can learn to adopt some of those practices for our everyday lives and “get the job done,” whatever that job might be.
Stress is Good
Kelly McGonigal looks closely at the science and psychology behind why stress is not always bad for us. It turns out, she finds, that it’s the belief that stress is bad for us that leads into, well, stress being bad for us. If, however, we view stress as being a motivator, that level of anxiety can actually propel us forward. After all, while cortisol is a stress hormone, oxytocin (the happy/love hormone) also increases during times of stress (i.e., childbirth, soldiers defending comrades). Perhaps it’s not about getting rid of stress after all, but thinking about it differently.
1. Reframe to the positive
Many stressful situations are not conducive our healths. Our typical perception, and in turn reactions, is that there is nothing redeeming about such situations. We dislike the feeling of anxiety, and ascribe almost total negativity to both the feeling of anxiety and the situation. Yet remember that anxiety is our body’s way to informing us that we need to be aware of something at some level – something is wrong or off or needs addressing. Viewing such stresses as a potential positive to help us get out of a bad or less-than-ideal situation may help us move from dwelling on what’s not working and anxiety-inducing to focus on what we can do to turn the situation around.
2. Embrace your neuroticism
Studies such as the
Longevity Project have shown that one factor in longevity is not the absence of stress, but how we perceive and manage it. In fact, those with a healthy dose of neuroticism are also the ones who will make sure to get their mammograms, check their prostates, ensure their carbon monoxide monitors are working, and fix that flashing brake light. The key is a healthy dose, not deluge, of worry.
3. Focus on experience
For many of us, it’s the uncertainty of the outcome that gives us the most anxiety and stress. What if X happens? What if Y happens? The reality is we have no idea what will happen. The concept of
Intolerance of Uncertainty suggests a tendency to react negativity in ambiguous situations. Uncomfortableness with uncertainty may prevent us from being present and lead to excessive worry. It is important to remember that while we cannot control the outcome entirely, we can control our part. When we view each experience as just that – an experience – rather than as an “outcome that I must achieve or I fail,” we may release ourselves of unnecessary pressure and be truly in the moment.
4. Get the butterflies in formation
We all get butterflies – before a big presentation, an interview, or a competition. Yet those butterflies are not always pesky bugs to eradicate. They can also help us reach the appropriate level of adrenaline (get “pumped up”) so that we can perform at our peak. After all, have you ever given your best speech or have your best run after a lovely 3-hour brunch and a 2-hour nap where you’re
so relaxed that you look like you woke up from an Ambien commercial? Probably not. Professor and former professional ballerina
Gene Moyle is credited for talking about getting those “butterflies flying in formation.” It is a lovely and appropriate way to view those butterflies in our stomach – as a way to channel the nerves into focused and kinetic energy for peak performance.
5. See the bigger picture
We often feel stress because we think we’re the only ones in the world ever to experience the situation or that we’re all alone or that the problem is the biggest and only thing out there. Yogi Nischala Joy Devi raises the notion that our personal problems are only a tiny part of the universal “pool” of problems. By stepping back and viewing the bigger picture and the world’s dilemmas and struggles, we can recognize that our problems might not be as enormous as we thought. Even if it is an enormous challenge, or at least feels that way, it is important to remember how in the grand scheme of things, it is impermanent.
