Happy New Year and welcome to 2016! Last year, the theme was the “Tao,” the way, an approach to putting things in motion without forcing them to a single perceived resolution. This year, the theme is “Flow,” the state of full immersion in something for its own sake. As Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, the positive psychologist who coined this term, says, in flow, one maximizes his or his skills as the whole being is engaged. Flow, he notes is a secret to happiness. So perhaps this is the year for us to find our flow and be fully engaged in whatever we have committed.
The Happiest Man Alive
The “Jolly Good Fellow” at Google, Chade-Meng Tan explores what makes the happiest man alive happy (compassion), and proposes that not only can compassion be fun, but also be profitable. He sees compassion having the benefits of highly effective leadership and mutual inspiration, and requires a focus on serving the greater good, autonomy, and personal growth.
“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”
~ Dalai Lama
The Flow of Compassion
If we all practiced compassion, the world can be a far better place.
- Pay attention
We often talk about how we need to pause and stay in the moment, but the minute tim and stress builds up, we fly straight into autopilot and mindless reaction. If we can for even ten seconds, pause, pay attention to what is happening inside and how we are reacting and filtering what is happening outside, and then turn our attention to what is happening outside without judgment, our worldview can change. Try it. Ten seconds. Thirty seconds. It’s like using your windshield wipers on what you thought was a clear glass, only to find out that smudge and unseen marks were blurring your lack of true clarity.
- Wish yourself goodwill
Even those of who who speak about being kind to others often forget to be kind to ourselves. We judge ourselves harsher than anyone else. How can we truly practice compassion then, if we cannot practice self-compassion. Talk to ourself as you would your best friend. Forgive yourself, laugh with yourself, smile to yourself. Wish for yourself all that is good and right. You deserve it.
3. Wish others goodwill
It’s easy to practice compassion for those who are kind to us. It is a whole other story to practice compassion for those who we feel wronged us or irritate us. Those are the ones we need to work hardest to feel compassion. Imbuing as positive feelings as possible, when we can wish for others (even those who annoy us no end) all that is good and right, we start to shift the dynamic, which can lead to positive shifts.
- Learn something
Find something you want to work on or to learn, whether that is greater self-control or a new language. Put the time and effort and commit to continuous self-improvement and self-growth. Doing so can give us a greater sense of drive, fulfillment of commitment, feeling of autonomy and agency, and satisfaction of achievement coupled with healthy doses of humility and patience.
- Remember the greater purpose
It’s not all about us. Remembering to keep the greater purpose and bigger picture in mind helps to shift everything into perspective and allow us to not get caught up in our little worlds, but to see how our individual actions have a butterfly affect on all that is around us. Remember, it’s not just about you or me.
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