One of my favorite childhood holiday movies is Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Why? Because of the Misfits. To me, these individual, kooky characters were so funny and goofy and above all, honest. They may have been rejected from their “tribe,” but they were so perfect in their imperfection and uniqueness. They weren’t like anything or anything else, and that’s just what I wanted to be.
Even when I asked for the jelly bracelets and charm bracelets (some of you know what I’m talking about….), I did it because I thought I supposed to want what everyone wanted. But I didn’t really want them or cared about them much. At my senior prom, when everyone was wearing the latest fashions from Seventeen (some of you know what I’m talking about….), I wore a vintage pantsuit. I won’t deny that I welcomed the attention for being “brave enough” to do something different. For me, it wasn’t brave. I still liked to fit in with the crowd, I still liked being part of the team, but I liked to do so on my own terms.
For as much as we crave belonging, we also crave being special because we are. When we are not like everyone else, we can’t be replicated or made redundant. To find our own individual style, voice, or approach, we sometimes have to be a little bit odd. To be the misfit and find other misfits who together, can drive the world to be a better place.
The Flip Side
In under two minutes, Derek Sivers shows how what might be weird to one person is the norm for another. So simple, yet sometimes, we just need to be reminded that it’s all perspective.
~ Coco Chanel
The Tao of Being a Misfit
“We may be different from the rest, Who decides the test Of what is really best?” Burl Ives
- Do your thing
Are you fascinated with bird watching? Collecting bottle caps? Go for it. Does it matter if the other parents in the PTA think it weird that you drop your kid off in a purple car or that your colleagues wonder why you don’t just sit agreeably passive in the meeting with all your questions? Celebrate your interests, your quirks, you (of course, as long as it’s not hurting anyone else).
- Don’t be different just because
Sometimes we see folks trying a little hard to be different, to be the “cool” anti-whatever. Without conviction or purpose, it becomes quite obvious to others that what may seem “unique” lacks authenticity but riddled with a need to follow and belong. Know what matters with you, find your conviction, and act with purpose.
3. Trust your instinct
When we dare to buck the trend, your negative self-talker can be quite loud at first, warning you not to stick out so much, that danger looms ahead if you place yourself away from the pack. When we don’t follow our instinct, however, we end up either running from the tribe to danger or following the herd into the big trap. Your gut knows when and how to stand out.
4. Find other misfits
Dynamic change starts when people are willing to break the mold and try something different. Transformation happens when a group of like-minded, divergent thinkers come together. NASA, Tesla, Shark Tank, “weirdos” who all decided they weren’t going to follow the prescribed path and do something different and found others who did the same and poof, magic.
- Support differences
When we start honoring the unique differences that make others weird, odd, quirky, special, we also give ourselves permission to be different. Oftentimes, it’s easier to tell others to be “themselves,” while we are living a shell of a life. The more we appreciate and tell people why we honor their living their true selves, the more we permit ourselves to do the same.
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