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Many of us growing up with this idea that we need to “win,” to “succeed,” to “become great.” What does that all mean and how can we measure greatness? Positive psychologist Martin Seligman has researched on the various ways we live – noting that many of us may live “pleasant” or “good” lives, but never quite achieve a deeply satisfying and fulfilling life. When we get too narrowly focused on a goal (aka said notion of “greatness”), we end up missing the very things that could help us achieve true greatness – with a deep sense of accomplishment and impact. Looking outside ourselves can push us even further.

Understand people
Simon Sinek offers another insightful talk on how people miss out on a whole lot – opportunity, achievement, greatness – when they ignore the very thing that lets us achieve: other people. A generous spirit goes a long way to connect, relate, and achieve.

It’s not all about you. That is the key to greatness.

1. Be generous
Living with a spirit of generosity enables us to step outside of our own bubble. When we think more about what others need, we can think about what we can do to help them meet those needs. We then draw on our strengths, innovation, and creativity to make things happens. There is a reason for the adage: help yourself by helping others.
2. Do what you say
As Sinek notes, doing what you say you’re going to do gives you credibility and authenticity. People follow people in whom they trust and believe. If they believe you are who you say you are, your impact can be that much more profound.

3. Connect
It’s about relationships. Studies have shown that positive relationships are not only critical to a healthier, longer life, but also greater productivity, performance, and engagement. Getting to know people – not just through selfies and Instagram – in real life with real names and real issues enable you to truly understand how your strengths can make others’ lives better.
4. Ignore the Jones
What is fulfilling to the  Jones is not what might make you fulfilled. Seriously, no one cares if you are driving a Subaru or a Lexus. No one cares if your home is 3,600 feet or 4,000. And if they do, that’s your issue for caring. Ready to step off the hamster wheel or toss away the golden handcuffs? People may freak out and ask you, “are you sure?” and might give you 100 reasons why it’s not good idea, but 9 out of 10 times, they’re rather envious of your courage. (N.B.: if they have a valid point…aka selling all your worldly possessions to join the acrobatic circus when you have no experience might warrant some forethought.)

5. Get over yourself

Mother Theresa. Gandhi. Martin Luther King, Jr. When we think of great people, we don’t think of those who are only about themselves. We think of individuals who put others first. It’s not that MLK, Jr or Gandhi were not ambitious themselves – nothing wrong with that – but that ambition was not just about them. They knew it wasn’t just about them. That allowed them to be truly great.

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