Setting new resolutions for the new year? Before you start making lists that include learning five languages, finishing a triathlon, and perfecting knit & purl (all before the Ides of March), think carefully about expectations. Disappointment can be minimized with clarity and communication.

Expecting fireworks in 2013?

When we are disappointed, it is often because we either had unrealistic expectations or because we didn’t really know what we (or the other person) wanted or expected. To help reduce those frustrating moments, a few things to keep in mind:

Know what you want
You have to first be clear to yourself about what you want – if you aren’t, then you can’t expect others or a situation to meet your desires.

Communicate
Even if you know what you want, if you don’t make it clear to others, then don’t be surprise if the result isn’t what what you want.

Ask
Ask others – what do they expect? If their expectations are far different than yours, then some discussion must take place to ensure both your needs meet somewhere in the middle.

Dream big, dream smart
It’s wonderful to expect great things, but it’s also important to set expectations that are within the realm of reality given the circumstances.

Check in
Every now and then, check in to see if what’s happening is aligning with your needs. If not, pause, reevaluate, and make adjustments accordingly.

Don’t punish yourself
If things don’t work 100% to what you expected, don’t be too hard on yourself. Learn from what went amiss for the future.

Celebrate
If the situation works to your expectations or a person responds in a way you had hoped, take a moment to enjoy. Learn from what went right for the future.