Have a tough situation or work with a difficult person? Engage.

Don’t avoid: avoiding the situation may only increase your anxiety. Like the monster under our bed, our imaginations make it seem fiercer and more terrifying than it is – a figment of creative thinking. Of course, if the situation or relationship is toxic, then removing yourself is a wise course of action. Otherwise, avoiding simply exacerbates the issue and/or feeling. It may be counterintuitive, but just stop avoiding. It won’t make things go away.

Lean in: it won’t be a walk in the park, but leaning into the conflict and/or emotion will help you address the issue and heal. Just as peeling the bandaid off quickly gives us a big “ouch,” it sure beats slowly doing over a period of time where the area becomes more irritated and infected. Let yourself feel the ickiness of the emotion, whether that be feelings of uncertainty, incompetence, jealousy, and so on.

Focus on the facts: we often create a dramatic, worst-case scenarios in our heads. Remind yourself of the facts of the situation. Is your co-worker really trying to plot your demise? Is your boss really trying to sabotage you and fire you? What are the facts – not what you fear.

Find support: often, we avoid things because we think we are the only ones who is facing the situation or that no one will understand us. Well, guess what. You are special, but not that special. There are not many completely new situations that at least one other person in the history of mankind has not dealt with who can relate to what you are going through. Sure, not everyone will fully “get it,” but they will be able to provide you with the support and perspective needed. Don’t do it alone.

Change perspective: step outside of yourself and imagine that you are talking to a close friend with the same issue. What would you tell him/her? Would you tell your friend to avoid and hope the situation gets better? Probably not (if you are a good friend). So be a good friend to yourself.