Mirror, Mirror: Unlearning Unconfidence

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Mirror, Mirror: Unlearning Unconfidence

Remember those infomercials of overeager salesmen bouncing around the screen with earpieces like they were on the floor on the New York Stock Exchange…” for $19.99, you can learn how to be confident too!”

Can confidence be learned?

If we watch young children, their confidence seems limitless. They will jump off tall couches, sing at the top of their lungs in grocery stores, and wave to strangers. They seem to have no fear. Yet as we get older, we tend to be more cautious and somewhere along the line, we are taught – and we learn – to be Unconfident. So if we can learn Unconfidence, why can’t we learn Confidence?

This may sound like one of the cheesiest, silliest tricks, but it does work: look at yourself in the mirror and affirm yourself.

I’m not suggesting muttering to yourself or becoming Snow White’s step-mother. But it may surprise you to know many adults cannot look themselves in the mirror as they give themselves positive affirmations. They tend to avert their eyes before they can finish.

Do you?

If you can’t look yourself in the eye and be confident, others won’t believe it either.¬†Even if you don’t quite believe what you’re saying yet, as they say, fake it til you make it.

So if have a job interview, a big presentation, if you’re in a funk, need a quick boost-me-up, or just not feeling as confident as you want to be, try this for two weeks. As you are doing your morning routine, look yourself in the eye and give yourself the affirmation(s) you want to hear…”You are capable. You are talented. You were hired to take this job because others believe you can do it.”

With practice and time, you will not avert your eyes and you will begin to believe it…and others will believe it too.

Here’s a perfect example of who we are before we learn Unconfidence:

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